Archive for the ‘My life’ Category

must-visit gift and paper store in Reno carries “my book” for moms-to-be

May 29th, 2011

Thanks to Ali Z at Designalicious I discovered the Reno, Nevada, city guide at Design Sponge. Thanks to the Design Sponge guide I discovered The Paper Moon, a well-curated paper and gift store with lots of fun girly stuff—all with a distinct design point of view that I loved.

Thanks to the the Paper Moon Facebook page, I got 25 percent off my whole purchase—tie-dyed scarf, patchwork headband, letterpress thank-you notes, glass rings, sticky notes with illustrated stilettos, etc. If you’re in Reno, go visit The Paper Moon. The store is in the shopping center at 550 West Plumb Lane, not far from downtown.

Lesson learned: From now on when I travel, I will check to see if Design Sponge has a city guide for my destination.

A huge thrill for me was seeing that Paper Moon carries my book Parenting magazine’s Pregnancy Planner: Essential Advice for Moms-to-Be, a journal-format book I spent two years editing. (Sorry, the photo I took was too blurry to post.)

Whenever I say a book is “my book,” the inevitable next question, which the lovely store clerk asked: “Did you write it?” The answer is, I’m not the author, but…With the beautifully illustrated books I work on, it’s hard to explain how much creativity and hard work the editorial, design, and production teams invest in a book, how much we collaborate, and how proud we are of the final product. It’s ours. Buy a Pregnancy Planner for an expecting mom, and you’ll see what I mean. And if you’re Reno, you where to find it.

online window shopping detrimental to sleep—and happiness?

January 7th, 2011

This month’s resolution—go to bed at night—seemed straightforward enough. And until last night, lights were out before midnight. Except for the night I fell asleep in Carter’s bed at 7:30 pm (and he moved to the couch because “Mommy was snoring!”), making it to bed by 11 pm has proved elusive.

Too often, I find myself trolling for deals online. And it is about the hunt for the best deal. The adrenaline. The dopamine. I love finding the obscure coupon code that I can combine with free shipping and get something that’s on sale—today only. The problem is I lose track of time. The other problem is, of course, actually spending money on more stuff.

In “But Will It Make You Happy?”—one of those “most-emailed” New York Times articles that I usually read on the train instead of the more important news stories—Stephanie Rosenbloom wrote: Research finds “spending money for an experience — concert tickets, French lessons, sushi-rolling classes, a hotel room in Monaco — produces longer-lasting satisfaction than spending money on plain old stuff.” But I still like stuff. But I love traveling with the boys, too.

So I’m trying a new strategy (which I’m hoping will take faster than my resolution to go to bed at a decent hour): If I really, really want to buy something, like the Mend Cinch Bag on sale in Target’s Red Hot Shop (thanks, Daily Candy for the tip!) and I talk myself out of it, then I transfer that money into our “travel” savings account. So far this week I’ve resisted the bag and a necklace. Woo hoo.

But, again, last night, I found myself with clearance items sitting in my Canvas shopping cart with the “free shipping” code already entered.

Then I noticed it was half past midnight. I closed my laptop and went to bed.

first New Year’s resolution: go to bed

January 2nd, 2011

A year ago, I resolved to “show up more” (incidentally, one of my favorite blogs). In 2009,, my mantra was, “I’m doing the best I can.” I thought about making this year’s resolution, “Just show up and do the best I can.” Which would work.

Last year was not a great year, so it shouldn’t be hard to improve upon it. However, the last thing I want to do is set myself up for failure by committing to lose weight, do more yoga, eat better, bake more, cook more, play with Carter more, spend more time with Jeff when we’re not planning Carter’s next move, watch less TV, read more books, knit, etc. I already know I should and want do all these things. I just don’t. (”Cognitive dissonance” is a topic for another day.)

Instead of taking it to either extreme—a day at time or a year at a time—I’m going draw my line at a month at a time. It supposedly takes 21 days to make something a habit, so I’m going to commit to one thing each month that’s doable and good for me, and see where it takes me. Probably not to a new me, but maybe I’ll be a little happier, a little healthier, a little more pleasant to be around.

First up: sleep. My January resolution: Go to bed. At night. Not in the early morning hours.

No more late-night blogging, online shopping, housework, paperwork, busywork. Considering how little sleep I usually get (1 am is not an unusual shut-eye time), I’m going to aim for lights out at 11 pm. I’ll report back on how it goes. Please let me know how your 2011 goals go, too.

Sweet dreams, and to all many good nights. Happy New Year.

serendipity, or discovering the Palo Alto Duck Pond at sunset

December 29th, 2010

sunsetPicked up Carter from Kids’ Club yesterday. Missed the recycling center by minutes. Started the ritual driving-by of Palo Alto Airport. Went too far. Entered Baylands Park. Found the Duck Pond. At sunset. Lost track of time. Wish you were here. We will be back.

Carter’s top three reasons for returning: Water. Room to run. Unobstructed views of airplanes and helicopters landing and taking off from Palo Alto Airport.

showing up a year after the break-in

October 1st, 2010

Unplanned, unintended hiatus. Months go by without blogging, and here I am showing up finally.

Much has happened. Carter has started kindergarten, rides his bike without training wheels, and lost his first tooth. As the “snack coordinator” for Team Dynamite, I officially become a soccer mom on Saturday.

Saturday is also the one-year anniversary of the break-in. I am not the same, and I am not over it. How sad and annoying is that? I still don’t have a new wedding ring, but a titanium (both nonallergenic and airplane grade, how appropriate) one is on its way.

You know you can get anything on Amazon, except, perhaps, peace of mind.

unsure, unhappy, unwell? act “as if” everything is ok

May 24th, 2010
There are worse places to be sick than overlooking Vancouver's harbor

There are worse places to be sick than Vancouver

Act “as if.” This is great advice for working women, which I first heard from Jo Miller, a crackerjack executive leadership coach. For instance, if you act as if you’re a leader and see yourself in that role, in turn, colleagues will treat you accordingly.

The ubiquitous “how to be happy” articles always offer a variation of this strategy: Act happy, even if you don’t feel happy, and soon you will be happy.

The Friday before we left for vacation, Carter came home sniffling a little. A four-hour nap on Saturday cured him. Only five kids made it to daycare that Monday, the same day my throat started to get sore. Tuesday, I was home sick. Wednesday, we left for six days in Vancouver.

My strategy: Act as if I weren’t miserably sick.

It’s day 5 in Vancouver, and I wish I could report that I psyched myself into feeling better. I didn’t. I’ve gotten sicker every day. But I’d like to think that I complained less than usual. And despite being sick, I’ve had a great time away with my boys. (I don’t have to act as if I were happy, because I am—except about being sick.) Now, I’ll just have to act as if I’m not guilty of giving the daycare virus back to Carter as I dole out some more children’s ibuprofen.

my mother’s day: trauma! drama! and lack thereof, so do you care?

May 15th, 2010

cardsagainOutside of school assignments decades ago, I rarely wrote about my own life until I took a personal essay class from Adair Lara back in 2001. The biggest “aha!”—realizing that readers get bored if everything is going well. Conflict keeps their attention. You also have to show how your experience illustrates some universal truth without it being a cliché. It’s way harder to do than I imagined. I didn’t even attempt it again for years.

Now, I’m writing a blog, where the whole point is to share something personal that I hope will be of value and interest to other people. While I’ve been microblogging on Twitter (bakingwithc) lately, this is the longest I’ve gone without updating the blog. Part of it is I’m a perfectionist when it comes to writing. I just can’t dash out a blog and hit “publish.” To me, blogs are personal essays, so I hesitate to write unless I can deliver a fully-formed essay. (I’ve also been trading writing time for sleeping, but that’s a different day’s topic.)

Which is a very long way to get around to talking about Mothers’ Day, because mine was so nice.

Carter, who was supposedly going to let me sleep in, woke me up around 6 am, because he couldn’t wait to give me my cards. The only problem was he wanted to know where they were. I realize I’m his early-morning go-to guy, but this was one question I could not answer. Jeff got a rare wake-up call, followed by whispering.

The card that Carter made for me at daycare had his handprint on one side and flowers he drew on the other side. He also got me a baby pink Hallmark card pink decorated with chiffon ribbons and a gold seal. ”Mommy, I know the bad guys took your jewelry and made you sad, so I got you this card that has jewelry on it to help you feel better.” Put that together with hand-drawn hearts and a signature with both his first and last name on the inside and who wouldn’t melt? (See it’s just not tension-filled essay material.)

Then miracle of miracles, Carter let me sleep some until Jeff brought me breakfast in bed: Mickey Mouse pancakes, grapefruit, cheesy scrambled eggs, and Whitman’s dark chocolate sampler. No complaints there.

And that’s not all! I went to yoga, and my shoulder didn’t hurt! (Thank you, thank you, Dr. George Thabit for ending my year and a half of pain with one shot.)

That’s still not all. I went to hear Anna Quindlen speak. I’m so in love, that’s whole other blog topic.

And to top it off, Carter insisted we go to Dave and Busters because that’s where we went last year. Not my scene, but after dinner, we stopped by Forever 21, a new store to me. Carter picked out an adorable, albeit short, blue polka-dot dress for me. I wore it with skinny jeans to work on Monday and got an unusual number of compliments. (This reminded me of Anna’s comment about how this is the first generation of mothers to dress so much like their daughters.)

So no drama, just a really nice day.

If stuck with me this far, despite the lack of conflict, thank you. I owe you a pithy wrap-up that ties my Mother’s Day to a universally understood experience. But I’m not coming up with it. So, instead, I’ll simply sign off by sending my best wishes to all mothers out there. I hope you, too, had a wonderful day.

first time at the ballet: skipped death by hanging, Sinatra gets rave reviews

March 1st, 2010

“Well, there’s death by hanging—depends on how you feel about that.”

At will-call, the guy handed me my half-price tickets (thank you again, Google) and answered by question about whether “Medea,” one of the three Smuin Ballet dances, would be scary.

From third grade through college, being a dancer was a huge part of my identity. I quit before I went to grad school. This was the right decision at the time, but I’ve missed dancing ever since.

I continued to attend a lot of dance performances, though. Pre-motherhood, I used to go to dance concerts around the Bay Area all the time. I had an Oakland Ballet subscription and a partial San Francisco Ballet one. I’d even go over to Berkeley to see Mark Morris. Part of my strategy to remain sane post-motherhood involves cutting way back on anything extra, including seeing live performances.

Now that Carter is more independent, I’m starting (just starting) to get over my guilt of not being with him during awake, nonwork hours. Of course, he doesn’t care. When I saw that Smuin Ballet was performing its winter program in Mountain View this weekend. I decided to try to go, as long as I could get cheap seats. (Michael Smuin was the former artistic director of the SF Ballet and a true showman. I remember seeing his “To the Beatles,” complete with motorcycle on stage, when I was a kid.) The only snag now: I didn’t know who would go with me.

“I’ll go with you, Mommy,” Carter said when he heard that. He’s been to one kid’s play and one kid’s dance performance and had decidedly mixed success sitting still and being quiet. Needless to say, I was hesitant to take him to a real ballet performance. I got tickets on the farthest side of the front row in the balcony, so we could scoot out immediately and unobtrusively at any sign on trouble.

He was an angel.

He was just as entranced as I was with the first piece, “Soon These Two Worlds,” a contemporary ballet with colorful costumes, from resident choreographer, Amy Seiwert.

We skipped Medea and its accompanying hangings, which gave Carter first intermission + 20 minutes + second intermission outside. He mostly danced around a fountain, for an hour before we went back in to see Smuin’s “Fly Me to the Moon.” (My parents introduced us six kids to the symphony with half of a concert, followed by ice cream out. Going was a pretty big deal: one parent would take one child at a time.)

“When Sinatra sings, you naturally want to dance,” Smuin said. Apparently Carter is also a fan of Frank’s: he said he liked this ballet better than the first, which was my favorite, “because it had funner music.” He also sat still and quietly watched from lights down to lights up—happy as could be.

Maybe Carter will follow in my footsteps. He wants me to find him a dance class. If nothing else, I have a new companion as I stick my toes back into the dance world.

“I’m doing the best I can”—excuse or survival tactic?

February 14th, 2010

Is saying “I’m doing the best I can”:

A) Giving up
B) Coping
C) My 2009 mantra
D) All of the above

Does the answer depend on whether I say it aloud or just to myself? I confess it was my silent mantra last year, but I’ve found myself saying it lately with some frequency.

Excuse or survival tactic? Discuss among yourself.